


we're not fine (but we fake it well)

by sixbeforelunch



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Gen, Humor, Team Dynamics, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-11-05
Updated: 2007-11-05
Packaged: 2018-01-19 10:57:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1466917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sixbeforelunch/pseuds/sixbeforelunch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The members of SG1 get beat up kind of a lot. Fortunately, they've figured out how to deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	we're not fine (but we fake it well)

"Ow. Ow. That hurts. That hurts too. And that hurts."

"Vala..."

"Leg really hurts. Shoulder really really hurts."

"Vala!"

"And now my head hurts because you _yelled in my ear_. Thanks Daniel."

Cam shifted his weight and only succeeded in aggravating the cut on his leg even more.

"You are getting on my nerves," Daniel said, more quietly.

"You're getting on my nerves more," Vala said.

"You are both annoying me," Teal'c said. "Stop doing so."

The cave fell mercifully silent. For all of a minute.

"My shoulder really hurts," Vala said, sounding less whiny and more scared. "And I don't think it's supposed to do that."

"You might have dislocated it," Sam said. "If we had any light, I'd take a look at it for you."

"We don't have any light?" Daniel asked. "At all?"

"We don't have any anything," Cam said. "Or did you miss the part where large men beat us up and stole our lunch money and threw us in a hole?"

Daniel ignored him. "What about that little flash light you tuck into your boot sometimes?"

"They even got the aspirin I keep tucked in my bra. Although I don't think they were looking for it."

"Felt you up too?" Vala asked.

Sam sighed. "Yeah."

Cam rubbed his neck. "Is it just me or is it getting dark out there."

Everyone looked up. The tiny shaft of light at the top of the deep cave they'd found themselves in was indeed getting dimmer.

"Great," Daniel said. "So now we're stuck in a hole, injured, missing our GDOs, and the rescue mission is going to take place in the dark. And my ass hurts. I think I bruised my tailbone."

"Ass...yep, my ass hurts too." Vala sighed.

"Will you stop whining?" Cam said.

"Hey, Daniel was whining too."

"No, I was stating fact. You were whining."

Sam grinned. "At least she's not as bad as General O'Neill."

Daniel chuckled. "The inverse rule?"

"Indeed," Teal'c said.

"What's the inverse rule?" Vala asked.

"The amount of whining Jack did was inversely proportional to the severity of the injury."

"It was most...amusing."

"Really?" Sam said. "I would have thought aggravating was a better word."

"A forty five minute diatribe about a splinter, but if he got shot..."

"'It's just a flesh wound.'"

Cam laughed. "You're no better, you know."

"Who?" Sam asked.

"You, Sam. Little miss, 'I'm fine.'"

"I am not."

"He's right," Daniel said. "You have three reactions to pain. Stoic. Stoic. And screaming in agony."

"'But look at how stoically I'm screaming'," Cam put in.

Vala laughed.

"Oh please," Sam said. "Like you're much better. 'Rabid voles chewed off my hands? Really? I was so busy translating this fascinating section of wall, I didn't notice.'"

Even Teal'c laughed that time.

"Hey! I would notice if rabid voles chewed off my hands. I need those to work."

"I do not engage in such foolishness," Teal'c said.

"Oh, no," Cam said. "With you it's 'I am in extreme pain, Colonel Mitchell. Now remove yourself from my path, I must exact revenge against the Goa'uld who killed my fifth cousin.'"

"Twice removed," Daniel said.

Cam laughed. "Exactly. You're all nuts."

"We're nuts?" Sam asked. "You enjoy pain."

"I do not."

"'Hey, everyone, look at this deep bleeding gash!'" Daniel said. "'I've never experienced this kind of pain before. Isn't it cool?'"

"Shut up," Cam said.

"'This is like that time in the mission report 1478A-23 where General O'Neill fell and cut himself. I'm--I'm cooler than him, right?'"

"You all suck."

Vala laughed. "See. I'm not nearly as bad as all that."

"Colonel Mitchell! Colonel Carter! Doctor Jackson!"

Everyone looked up. 

"Here! We're here!" Daniel yelled.

"Vala! Teal'c!"

"We're here!"

"Is anyone hurt?!"

"Mostly scrapes and bruises! Vala might have dislocated her shoulder!"

"Okay," the voice called. "Hold tight, we'll have you out soon!"

"Rabid voles," Vala muttered.

Everyone broke into hysterical giggles of relief.

"Take your time!" Cam called.

*

"Are they...laughing?" Captain Ly asked.

"They're SG1," Captain Soto said. "They're generally accepted as being a little cracked."

Reynolds squatted down next to them. "And aren't we thankful for that?"

"Every day, Sir," Ly said. "Every day."

end


End file.
